


What's Life Without Love

by Zanyfish24



Category: Twilight
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Cullen's not vampires, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-23 20:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15614781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanyfish24/pseuds/Zanyfish24
Summary: After 5 foster homes I no longer held any trust. I learned a long time ago to keep my head down and do what my social worker told me to do. But when the Cullen's take me in the rules start to change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ezra is an original character that is put into the universe of the Cullen's. The Cullen's are not vampires.
> 
> Thank you for reading. I will be posting more chapters soon. Enjoy!

After 5 foster homes I no longer held any trust. I learned a long time ago to keep my head down and do what my social worker told me to do. I’m pretty sure that the women who was supposed to place me in safe homes is actually the devil in disguise. Katy is horrible creature who preys on the weak. Not literally, but to me she was a monster. Ever since I was found on the streets and brought in this women has been my social worker. She is cold, and doesn’t care what situation I am in, no matter what, I’m always to blame. I don’t know what I do to annoy her, but I suspect she is just angry about her own life.

This day seemed deceivingly bright for the solemn occasion. As we drove down the road all I could think about is “how long this time?” They all gave up eventually, what I’ve learned is that everybody is in it for the money. I didn’t want to be placed in another home. All that meant was abuse, pain, and a lot of false hope. I didn’t know anything about my new “family”, I never did. Looking out the window all he could see was trees, and fancy houses. The type of house he didn’t deserve to live in. They were in rows along the forest separated by gates. All of them looming over him with a dark energy, taunting him. “You don’t deserve to be here.” “You’ll never be good enough.” “You’re a lost cause.” Of course it was true, all of those statements were true. As they drove further the houses got further apart. They were descending deeper, and deeper into the heavily wooded forest. Clouds floated into view above them which I personally thought was more suited for the moment. I contemplated the thought that I was being dragged into the woods to die. I mean, I'd caused enough trouble to be hated. What if I was going to be dropped in the middle of the woods on my own, and forced to find my way out. I brushed off that thought, thinking that she would have a much crueler way for me to suffer than this. 

As they pulled into the driveway he looked around curiously. He saw a modern house that looked like it was at least 3 stories if not more. It was masked by the surrounding forest, and he doubted that anybody would ever find the house unless they were looking for it. It was well hidden, and that gave him a strange sense if security. Maybe this forest could mask his pain as well is it masked the house.

“Ezra! Does your stupidity inhibit your hearing? I’ve been trying to talk to you for ages you imbecile.” Katy screamed at me

“Sorry…” I whispered, scared of her.

“As I was trying to explain to your incompetent brain is that we are here, and you better not screw it up this time! Honestly boy, I don’t know why the agency is still trying to help you.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose like she had a headache. She stepped out of the car slamming the door behind her. I stayed in the car for a second trying to calm my breathing, and the trembles that rippled through my body like a wave in an ocean. Stepping out of the car, I stepped towards the house hesitantly. I hoped this foster family wasn’t as bad as my previous ones. I just don’t think that I could deal with that again. “Ezra, hurry the fuck up I don’t have the time to deal with your shit.” She screamed grabbing me by the arm tightly and pulling me to the door.

As she rang the doorbell I thought about how many times I had been in exactly the same position, scared out of my mind, and ready to run. The door opened, and I kept my head hung low trying to ignore the pain in my arm. 

“Hello. Please come in. Welcome! I’m Esme.” she said in a happy tone. Katy dug her nails into my arm making it look as if she was guiding me into the house. That was going to bruise. My legs were shaking, and felt as though they were buckling under my weight. It felt as though we were walking through mud. As we walked into the entryway I kept my eyes down at the floor. Rule number 1: never look your foster parents straight in the eye. It draws attention to you, and makes them angry. You must respect them at all times, because they control you. 

“Hello! My name is Katy! I believe I spoke to your husband on the phone earlier. I want to thank you again for taking him on such short notice. I know he can be a handful, but we had some unsuitable circumstances at his last residence, and the agency insisted he be removed. I told them that a 16 year old is perfectly capable of dealing with their own problems, but you know how they are, always over reacting.” Katy laughed, fake smile plastered on her face.

“Of course! We are happy to take Ezra, it's no problem at all. I’m sure that he won’t be a bother in the least. We are just glad to help. My family is very excited to meet you Ezra, and I am always happy to have another person to cook for.” She said with no hint of a lie.

“Answer her you idiot, she’s addressing you.” Katy whispered in my ear never taking her eyes off of Esme, her fake smile never wavering. Rule number 2: If Katy tells you to do something, you do it. I slowly looked up to meet the face of an incredibly beautiful women. She was middle aged and held a big smile. Her caramel brown hair and pale skin held a stark contrast, but her brown eyes gave off a sense of warmth and comfort.

“Hi.. it’s nice to meet you.” I said barely audible, but somehow she heard me. Her eyes lit up, and her smile grew wider.

“It’s very nice to meet you as well. I look forward to having you stay with us.” Again all I heard in her voice was pure honesty. 

“Well, I must be going, but please give me a call if there is even the slightest problem with Ezra. It would be good to know how he is behaving. Thanks again!” Her smile never wavered, but her voice was laced with a warning. She gave one last bone crushing squeeze on my arm and turned walking out the door. I rubbed my arm and waited for Esme to speak.

“Well everyone is at school and work right now, but I’m sure you are tired and hungry. Would you like to eat?” She asked in a kind voice.

“Um… Okay.” I wanted nothing more than to go sleep and not get up. To hide in my room never having to meet the rest of the family, but we can always get what we want. I was being stupid though, I probably wouldn't even have a room to stay in. Maybe they had a barn, or a closet that I could take shelter in. 

“Come with me sweetie.” She said as her hand lightly touched my back to guide me into the kitchen. I flinched at the contact, but unlike Katy, her touch was comforting, and made me feel safe. Like I should wrap up in her arms and cry all of my problems out to her as she strokes my hair and gives me motherly support. I knew I was crazy for thinking that, and I reprimanded myself in my head thinking don’t trust her, you can’t trust her. She will turn on you eventually. And I knew that I had to keep reminding myself that she didn’t actually care for me. Rule number 3: Everyone is always in it for the money, don’t forget this. So I ignored the comforting hand on my back and focused on all of the cuts, and bruises, and sore spots. Yes Ezra that is your life. You were and never will be loved. It is you against the world, and don’t forget it!

As we walked through the hallway that lead into the kitchen I couldn’t help notice a large picture that took up almost half the wall. There were 4 men and 3 girls including Esme, and they all looked so incredibly happy, they were standing by a waterfall, all covered in mud, and laughing. They looked so content and at ease. The guy in the far back was huge at least 6’5 with dark brown, almost black hair, his blue eyes shined with life. In the picture he looked happy, but I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. Actually I wouldn’t want to get on any side, he looked scary. He had his arms wrapped around a girl from behind as the girl leaned back into his chest. The girl in front of him was tall and beautiful. Her blue almost purple eyes were happy, but it was almost like she held a secret behind them, like there was a wall that she kept up. She had light blond hair, and pale skin. There was a fierceness about her that made her even scarier than the guy behind her, but they were both smiling. The next guy had a light brown hair and brown eyes, he looked like he had been through hell and back, but lived to tell the tale, and had started healing. He was laughing with a short black haired girl who looked at him with so much love it was over welling. She was holding his hand and they looked as though they belonged together. Esme had her arms wrapped around a blond man, who had caring blue eyes. He was kissing her forehead as they watched the others with loving smiles. The last person in the photo was a brown haired man who was sitting on a rock to the far right. His green eyes shone, as he watched everyone else with a smile dancing on his lips. Lonely wasn’t the word to describe it, he looked more fulfilled than anything.

“This is my family.” Esme said smiling at him. I guess he had stopped, because she was on the other side of him looking at the picture as well.

“You guys look happy.” I whispered

“We are. Family is the most important thing to me, and my family is what keeps me going. What is life without love?” she said, so much affection coming off of her in waves I was almost choking on it. I stayed silent thinking about what she had said. What is life without love. I guess I’ll never know true life then. “Come Ezra, you must be starving” She ushered me into the kitchen. It was massive. The ceiling was tall and a bunch of natural light coated the room. It looked like a kitchen off of food network. 

“Sit anywhere you like Hun. There is no need to be shy.” She told me softly. I chose to sit at the island in the middle of the room. It had the high chairs that you see at diners, and a beautiful marble counter top. “I hope you don’t mind, but our family is vegetarian. You don’t have to be, but we don’t keep meat in the house, so you should tell me if you would like some next time I go shopping.”

“Vegetarian is fine.” I wasn’t about to tell her that I had been force fed rotten meat and that had turned me off it forever. So yes you could say I was vegetarian.

“Is a veggie burger alright?” she asked

“Yes, thank you.” I said looking down. I felt slightly guilty that I was being such a burden. I really didn’t need much to keep me alive. I wondered if it was all a trick. That the family would get home after Esme lulled me into a false sense of comfort, and then they attacked. Either was he wasn’t going to let his guard down. After gulfing down a veggie burger and some fries he felt exhausted. He hadn’t slept in days not trusting Katy to not do anything to him. Not wanting to bring attention to himself while Esme was cleaning the kitchen he sat there and waited to have her tell him what to do. He started to fade in and out of sleep in his chair, head laying on his arms. He could hear the dull roar of the sink running, and the pots and pans being put away in drawers.

“Sweetie, if you want to sleep than you can do that. You don’t have to wait for me to tell you that’s okay. Let me show you the room you will be staying in.” She said putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Okay.” I said sleepily. We stood up to go upstairs to what I assume was where I was sleeping. Walking through the living room Esme said “can you wait here for one second, I need to grab some extra pillows for your room.”

“Okay.” I said sitting down on the couch. She left the room, and against my will I fell into a deep sleep.


	2. Like a Zebra in Antarctica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cullen's meet Ezra, at least they do while he sleeps. You get to know more about Edward and his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to switch between Ezra's and Edwards point of view. Hope you enjoy!

Ezra’s POV

The sleep that I was experiencing was like none other I had ever had before. I was somewhat aware of my surroundings, yet in such a deep sleep that I couldn't wake up. It was probably more likely that I didn't want to wake up. I was warm, and comfortable, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn't afraid. 

“Is he okay?” I heard a deep voice ask

“I think so, he was very shy when he came in. When I went to go get some pillows for his bed he fell asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful I didn’t want to move him.” I heard a familiar voice say. Everything was foggy, and I couldn’t pinpoint who exactly was speaking.

“He’s so small.” A girl whispered, her voice breaking off at the end

“I don’t think he was treated very well before he came here. I don’t know much about the situation, but I do know that his social worker said his past home was unsuitable.” The familiar voice said

“Do you want me to move him into his room?” the deep voice asked

“Could you? That would be much better than the couch, I don’t want him to be sore when he wakes up.”

“Of course.” The voice said. I felt somebody’s arms wrap under my knees and behind my back, and was lifted off of the couch. I was so tired that I couldn’t care whether or not he was taking me somewhere to hurt me. My body felt like it had given up on me. My limbs felt heavy, and my head was pounding. “He’s so light.” Came the voice from above, mostly to himself I think because nobody said anything in response. The man holding me felt strong, and lean. His hands were cold, but his body was warm. I turned slightly into his chest smelling a cologne that was masculine yet also delicate. I felt my body being transported up a set of stairs and into a room. I couldn’t open my eyes even if I wanted to so I just burrowed further into the man’s arms. I felt myself being placed on something soft, and I had something warm pulled over me. I tried to reach out for the warm body to stay, but I was pulled back into the embrace of sleep.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
Edwards POV

His mop of black hair plastered to the side of his face, as he shifted in my arms. This boy seemed so scared even in his sleep. As I laid him in bed I looked his outfit over. He was wearing red converse and black pants, and a red flannel. He had a chain that snuck under his shirt with a slight bump under the shirt where the necklace would end. He had shaggy dark black hair, with freckles speckled around his small face. His nose ended at a dull point, and his ears pointed out like an elf. His glasses were crooked on his face, and he was out cold. I slipped his shoes off and laid them by the bed, and took his glasses off and put them on the bedside table. Flicking off the lights and pulling the curtains closed I walked out of the room leaving the boy to rest. As I closed the door all I could think about was how he had clung to me like his life depended on it. It was certainly going to be interesting having him here. I walked back downstairs where everyone sat in the living room in silence waiting for me to come down.

“He’s going to be out for a while.” I said sitting on the couch next to Emmet

“Esme, how old is he?” Alice asked

“He is 16, and has been in 5 foster homes. I know that he has suffered some sort of trauma, but I did not get any more information than that. His coming was very short notice, and his social worker didn’t seem to care about him very much. I want you all to be kind and considerate to him. He will need a bit of time to adjust to our family, and our family should make him as comfortable as possible. Emmet and Edward because you have rooms on either side of him I want you to watch out for him. When he wakes up we will have a family meeting just to introduce him to the family, and set some rules like curfew, ect.” Esme said to all of us smiling softly "I know that it is hard to welcome another person into the family, but I have no doubt that you guys will make him feel welcome." 

“Do you know when dad is getting home?” I asked

“He should be home within the hour. Why don’t you all do your homework so that we can spend some time together when Carlisle gets home? And you guys can help me make dinner, because we should prepare a nice meal for Ezra tonight.” There were simultaneous groans coming from all of the kids in the room at Esme’s remark. But when Esme suggested something it was more of a do as you’re told and we will all get along, so everyone scattered to various rooms to do their homework. Before I could get to my room Jasper pulled me to the side.

“Edward, how did things go with Noah?” he whispered to me

“He’s not gay.” I sighed

“I’m sorry Ed, you’ll find someone, and when you do it will have been well worth the wait.” He said hugging me.

“I know, it just feels like nobody in this small town is gay. And I most certainly am. That narrows my options greatly.” I said, chuckling with despair

“I know, but you will find someone, I promise.” After talking to Jasper I always felt calmer. It was like he had the power to control your emotions, and lessen your anxiety.

“Thanks Jazz” I said patting him on the shoulder walking away.” The whole family knew I was gay, but nobody else did. At least nobody I hadn’t tried to ask out. It’s not that I was scared to come out, but in a town as small as this I would be like a zebra in Antarctica. Jasper and Alice were always interested in my love life, and trying to hook me up with people. It always ended terribly. I knew that I would eventually find somebody, but the wait seemed too long. Everybody else in the family had a partner. And I was alone. Granted there were worse things than being alone, but in the back of my head all I could think about was getting a boyfriend and settling down when I finished high school and starting a family. I sat down at my desk opening my laptop to start my homework, my attention never fully there.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
Things in the kitchen may have gotten a little crazy. It was all Emmet’s fault (it was usually Emmet’s fault). He had thrown flour at Rose, and she had thrown a tomato at his head, and then it turned into a full on food war. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen now that Carlisle was home, trying to cook some homemade pasta and salad.

“Jazz, stoppppppp!!!” Alice screeched as Jasper was sweeping flour into a dust pan and pouring it into Alice’s hair. In the corner Emmet and Rosalie were both holding up spatulas in one hand and various fruit in the other circling each other, and somehow Esme and Carlisle were still cooking, laughing at their children’s antics. I was armed with an eggplant and a pan as a shield, and was throwing nuts at each of my sibling’s heads. Trying to distract them from their partner so the others could get their attacks in. This may have been a mistake, because all of them decided to team up on me and cornered me attacking from all sides.

“Ahhhhh, mayday, mayday!!” I yelled as I swatted at their various food weapons.

“Children, leave Edward alone.” Carlisle said chuckling

“Ugh, you’re no fun!” Alice complained

“Come on, lets cleanup” I said getting up, grabbing the broom and dustpan from Jasper.  
\-----------------------------------------------  
Ezra's POV

I woke up and everything was blurry. All I could tell is that the room was dark and I felt better rested than I had in a while. I flung my hands out to the sides searching for my glasses when my hand hit a table. Bingo! Putting on my glasses I could now see that I was in a large room that was well decorated. It had a desk next to a window that had the curtains pulled closed, and a TV across from the bed. There was a three doors that I assumed let to a closet, a bathroom, and the hallway, and there was a wall covered in bookcases (this was the most exciting part of the room to me. The bed had black sheets, and the fluffiest pillows I had ever felt. I stood up slightly disoriented as I realized someone must have brought me up here, blushing at the thought. I opened the curtains to let the sunlight streamed in, but the sun had already set, and the moonlight lit up the room.

Deciding that my foster parents wouldn’t appreciate me sleeping on whatever chores I surely had to do I decided to go find them. Peaking my head out into the hallway I noticed 4 doors, 2 across and one on either side of me. Noticing the staircase at the end of the hall, I headed towards it and down the stairs. My heart was pounding in my chest, and beads of sweat dripped down my face. I hoped that they would go easy on me the first day. It was selfish, but I wanted to eat, and sleep some more before the torture began. They were probably letting me rest so that I could work twice as hard. I heard screams and laughs coming from the kitchen and headed towards it.

Standing at the doorway an interesting scene waited for me. There were the 7 people from the pictures all smiling and playing with food? 2 boys and 2 girls worked together to attack a boy in the corner while Esme and another man stood and laughed. The man being attacked spoke.

“Ahhhhh, mayday, mayday!!” the man yelled as he swatted at their various food weapons.

“Children, leave Edward alone.” The older man scolded them, still laughing

“Ugh, you’re no fun!” The short girl complained

They all got up and started cleaning when they noticed him in the doorway watching them.

“Hi….” He said giving a small wave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. More Edward and Ezra interaction in the next chapter! Please review so I can make my writing better. Thank you!


	3. Getting to Know the Cullen's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra gets to know the rules of the Cullen house, and has an internal battle about trusting them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slow, and short chapter, but trust me it sets the scene for the next one. Enjoy!

All faces where turned towards me. I shifted nervously under everyone's stares and looked to the only person here I actually knew, Esme. 

“Hi honey, did you sleep well?” she asked smiling at me continuing to cut the vegetables. 

“Um, yeah. Um, do you know how I got upstairs?” I asked looking at my feet

“Oh, I had Edward take you up, we didn’t want to wake you.” 

I nodded my head not responding. I didn’t love the fact that somebody had touched me while I was asleep, even if it was just to bring me upstairs. 

“Why don’t we sit down and eat so Ezra can get to know everybody?” Esme asked kindly

There was a chorus of okays, and sures. I followed everybody into the dining room sitting the furthest away from everybody. I didn’t trust any of these people. Everybody was talking amongst themselves, until the older, blonde man holding Esme’s hand cleared his throat. 

“Hello Ezra, I’m Carlisle, Esme’s Husband, and the Children’s adoptive father.” He smiled at me. He seemed nice, but Esme had mentioned he was a doctor, and I couldn’t have him come near me if he was a doctor. They went around the table introducing themselves. So far I didn’t want to go near Emmett. He was large and intimidating, and Emmett had said his room was right next to mine, which meant that I had to lock my door at night. Even if he was with Rosalie like he said that didn’t mean he wouldn’t take advantage of me. Alice seemed nice enough, but she reminded me of one of my foster moms that would starve me until I did the unrealistic list of chores, and then would force me to take a shower in scalding hot water before I went to bed so I wouldn’t get the sheets “dirty”. Jasper seemed to have a sympathy in his eyes that I had never seen before, I felt like he knew what I was going through. I was probably imagining things though. Nobody ever felt anything, but hate and disgust towards me. 

“I’m Edward. I have the room on the other side of you. We are going to be in the same grade at school.” I looked up at him. He had the nicest voice I had ever heard, and for some reason I wasn’t scared of the fact that his room was going to be next to mine. Ezra, stop letting your guard down! These people will hurt you. Your a lost cause. I nodded at him not addressing the fact that I’d never been to school before. 

“Can you tell us a little about yourself Ezra? Esme tells me you’re from Seattle.” Carlisle asked

“If you would like…… Um… I’m 16, and am from Seattle, and I know how to clean a house from top to bottom, and I can cook for you, an-” I was cut off mid sentance 

“But what do you do in your free time? Your hobbies, your interests?” Alice asked 

“Um, I don’t really have any. I’ve never really had the chance to try any…….” I trailed off looking down from everyone's faces. I’m sure they thought I was disgusting, they would probably send me back to Katy. I could feel the dull throb of where she had grabbed me earlier. 

“Oh… Well I guess we could all take you with us when we do our hobbies, that way you could try everything!!!!” Alice was practically bouncing with excitement at the idea.

“That’s a good idea Alice. For now though I think that we should discuss the rules of the house” Carlisle said 

Oh no. Of course I was stupid to believe that they were okay. Of course there were rules, the families were never any different. I wondered what I would have to do. Clean the house, cook the food, serve them hand and food, do the shopping, or….. No Ezra don’t even think about if they make you do That. I gulped at the thought, but nodded at Carslile. 

“We don’t have many rules in our household. All we ask is that you keep your bedroom tidy, and that you obey the curfew. Your curfew is 10:00 on weekdays, and 11:00 on weekends. You need to text us wherever you are, and you need to let us know who you are going to be with, and what you are doing. If your plans change than you also need to let us know. We have a family group chat that you will be added to. You also must complete all of your homework before hanging out with friends. Those are the only things we ask you to do.” 

I looked up at him with wide eyes. No chores, no cleaning, no punishments?

“But what happens if I break the rules?” I asked, scared for the answer

“ Depending on what you have done you will get your electronic privileges taken away, or you will be grounded. You will never be physically or verbally abused in this household. EVER.” He said “Please know that if you have a problem you can come to any of us, and we will always help. You can trust us Ezra. All we want to do is help you, and make you a part of our family.” 

There was so much honesty in his eyes that I had to look away. EZRA stop trusting them. They are tricking you! Making you trust them until they swoop in and take advantage of you. 

“Is everything okay?” Jasper asked 

“Can I please go sleep?” I asked in a rush

“Of course dear, just let us know if you need anything.” I heard Esme say as I got out of my seat leaving my plate untouched and quickly ran upstairs. 

Come on Ezra you need to get your shit together. I locked the door and flung myself on the bed. I felt like crying, but if I cried I would be punished. That's what Philip taught me at my first foster home. Crying gets you nowhere, especially when you are being punched, kicked, touched...... Stop Ezra! Stop thinking about it! 

"I need to kill the pain" I whispered to myself

Walking over to my shoes I pulled out a razor that was tucked into a slit in the side. Nobody ever checked my shoes, although nobody never cared to check either. I walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comment so I can improve my writing, and let me know what you think will happen next!


	4. Family Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cullen's have a chat about the new addition to the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo no Ezra in this chapter.....but I promise the next one is all him! Enjoy!

Downstairs in the dining room Nobody was hungry anymore. That had to be one of the saddest interactions that the Cullen’s had in a while. Of course all the children had been adopted, and they all had their own troubles, but Ezra was a whole other level. None of the kids, even when they first arrived at the Cullen house had been made to do chores for hours, and didn’t have any interests. You could feel the fear radiating off of the boy in waves, it was suffocating.

“He’s so small… and scared” Alice whispered to the table “I don’t understand how someone can be so horrible to someone.” Jasper wrapped his arms around her, and whispered calming words into her ear.

“I think that we are going to have to be patient, and caring, but most of all we must give Ezra love. I don’t think he has ever had anybody in his life who has loved him. It will take time, but I believe that as a family we can work to make him more comfortable in our house, and a part of this family. Remember how scared you all were when you came. And remember that although it took time, and effort on both sides you eventually became comfortable, and broke out of your shells. I think that Ezra is a scared, and insecure boy, but I think that what he needs to heal is love, and trust.” Carlisle stated “Emmett, he seems to be the most afraid of you, so we are going to have to be careful. I don’t think that you should avoid him, because that might cause him to feed into an anxiety of phobia, and then I think it would me much harder to have him be around you. You should start off by not being in a room with him alone just until he gets comfortable around you. Once he begins to make our home his home you can start to integrate yourself into his life a bit more.”

“But I haven’t done anything to him. It’s not my fault that I’m so big, and if he actually talked to me he would realize that I’m just a huge teddy bear.” Emmett complained

“I know Emmett, but in order for him to understand this he needs to work on his fear, and get to know you. Once he sees that you don’t want to hurt him, and that you will never hurt him than I strongly believe that you two will be good friends. It just takes time.” Carlisle said this in a calm voice, but Emmett still looked slightly upset. “Now, from the way he was interacting and looking at everybody I would say he is most comfortable around Esme, and Edward. I don’t think he has made up his mind about the rest of us. I just want everybody to be on their best behavior around him. Don’t make any jokes about violence, or punishment around him, and don’t touch him without his permission. Try not to make any loud noises around him, and be sure always announce when you enter a room. I don’t know the extent of his abuse, but from his hospital files that I received today it was extensive. I haven’t seen a case this bad since I started medical school. “

Do you think that he will be able to go to school?” Esme asked

“In time, but for now I think that we should consider online courses for the next month or two. I also think that I need to do a full physical on him because I saw him wince a couple times when he moved. I also believe that he is malnourished, and possible anemic. He will probably have to take some vitamins, and things of that sort. Once he adjusts to our home a bit I would also like him to start therapy. I think I am going to take off the next week or two because I know you have that couple’s house that you are renovating honey.”

“That sounds good, if you need me though I can be here in a blink of an eye. Tomorrow I am going to need everyone’s help because I am planting the garden for the season, and it’s a large project.” She responded “Children, can you help clean up the table, and then it’s off to bed with you.”

Ugh, can’t we stay up a little longer.” Emmett whined

“Nope, you have a long day tomorrow, and you need to get some rest. Clean up, and then off to bed”

“Emmett you’re not five, stop acting like it.” Edward said

“I’m 17 years old, I think that I am old enough to decide when I go to bed.” He pouted

“Are you paying rent? Are you buying your own food? Do you do your laundry? Do you pay taxes? Do you have a job? Until you are living on your own and doing these things you listen to your parents when they tell you to do something. If you want to act five than we can treat you like your five. Now get your butt of that chair, finish cleaning, and go to bed mister.” Esme said calmly

“Finnnnneeeeeee” Emmett agreed, because when Esme got all calm like that the whole house knew they better listen. Edward, Jasper, and Alice were all laughing at Emmett as they got up from the table to clear their dishes.

“I think you handled that very well sweetie.” Carlisle said

“Why thank you. I swear sometimes these kids drive me nuts.” She said this with so much love and affection.

When she found out she couldn’t have children she was heartbroken, but after Carlisle brought home a 5 year old crying Edward she knew that her life found a new meaning. Edward’s father had died before he was born, and him mother died in the hospital of a case of flu turned pneumonia. Carlisle had been the doctor assigned to the case, but by the time she came in there was nothing he could do, but make her comfortable. It was either the child be put in the system or he took him home, and that was that. After taking in Edward they found Alice, Jasper, and Rose. They were huddled in the forest, and Esme found them when she went to pick some herbs. Jasper and Rose were twins, and they had run away from an abusive stepfather after their mother had committed suicide. When she found them Jasper wouldn’t talk and hung onto Rose as if his life depended on it. It took Rosalie almost a year to trust the Cullen’s. They had found Alice a few days after running away. Alice’s parents had put her in a psych ward because she had nightmares, and had horrible anxiety. When she was in the Psych Ward they got into a car crash and died. She had no living relatives so she was put into a home to be adopted when she ran away. She and Rosalie were the only ones that could calm Jasper when he panicked, and they refused to sleep in separate rooms for months. The twins were now 17, and Alice was now 16. Emmett was the last one to join their family. He had been living on the streets since he could remember. Rosalie found him beat up and mugged by some hooligans, and he was barely breathing. She brought him home and had Carlisle bring him back to health, and they decided to take him in as well. Each of the children were a challenge in their own way, but she loved it.

Now she had Ezra, and she loved him as she did the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed a little background on how the kids got there. Please comment so I can improve my writing.


	5. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezra lets himself get some comfort after a nightmare.

Upstairs in Ezra’s Room there was an internal battle taking place. Ezra couldn’t understand why the Cullen’s wanted to help him, or at least why they acted like they wanted to help him. What was there ulterior motive? He paced the bathroom trying to think. He had done what he’d always done, cleared his head with some pain, and left his body undesirable. He was tarnished, and covered in scars, but at least the new scars were of his doing, that meant that he was in control. He didn’t know why he trusted this family but he did. This was a dangerous thought. Could he have found a home?

“Ezra stop. You are only getting your hopes up.” He whispered to himself

He decided that he would go to bed, and make his decision in the morning. He had two choices. The first was make himself be so horrible that they would want to give him back to the foster care system and he would go back to the streets like Katy said. Or he could let himself trust the Cullen’s and maybe for once in his life have somebody who loved him…… The second was the more dangerous option in his opinion. He walked out of his bathroom hiding the blade back in his shoe, opened his window to let the early fall air flow through the room and climbed into bed. He took off his glasses and placed them on the bedside table, pulling the blanket over him. The sky had cleared and the stars were shining brightly. He turned onto his back with a sigh, and was taken back by what he saw. Someone had put a constellation installation in his room. His ceiling was covered in stars that shown dimly in the dark room. It gave him peace, reminding himself that he was only a small dot, in a large ocean of a world. He remembered a mantra his mom used to tell him.

You’ve stepped outside and taken that breath,

Sharp, cutting, and most important, rejuvenating.

Let the cold fill your body,

Let it take over your senses.

Let it pump through your body like a drug.

Close your eyes, and let yourself feel everything.

The crisp air flowing through your nose, and into your lungs, your dry lips parting to let the now warm breath out.

Let your mind be at peace knowing you are breathing life.

For you.

For plants.

For the world.

Look up at the snowy sky, grey, bleak, and yet so full of life.

Think about the fact that you are a small dot.

You are a small dot in the very large world.

Let yourself realize that eventually you are going to die.

Leave this world.

Be gone.

Just like the snowflake that landed on your nose with a cold bite, you are going to melt.

Let this thought scare you.

Let your heart beat faster.

Let the slight panic set in.

But then let yourself remember that you are here not there,

And that here may always be there,

And you just are.

Not for any reason but to be.

Tell yourself to savor every breath,

Because eventually you won’t.

He took a deep breath inhaling and exhaling. Allowing himself to breathe in the fall air, and remind himself that he just was. He allowed the wind whistling through the trees, and the scary but comforting words of his mother lull him to sleep.  
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Stuck in his head he had nightmares of losing his parents, the abuse he suffered, and most of all himself. He had nightmares of himself. Who he might become because he let his demons control his life. How incredibly weak and useless he was, and how nobody would ever love him. He let his nightmares take over, consume him, and there was nothing he could do about it.  
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He woke with a start. He had tears streaming down his face, and he was having full body shudders. He had soaked his sheets through, and had wet himself. God this was so embarrassing, a 16 year old boy wetting the bed from nightmares, but still he needed comfort, and human contact. He needed somebody to tell him it was alright. Usually when he had nightmares his guardians would come barging in to beat him up. They would curse him out for disturbing there sleep. Nobody had come in to yell at him, or hit him. He knew that he had to have been screaming because his throat was sore, and dry. Maybe they didn’t want to make him feel embarrassed? No there is no way they were that nice, the house probably just had good sound proofing.

As he sat there the bed got colder and colder, and the smell or urine intensified. He blushed in shame, and grabbed more clothes and went to take a shower. He stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed, and stink free, and noticed his bedding had been changed, and a note was left in nice cursive writing, “if you need to talk you know where we are.” –Esme. His eyes filled with tears at the thought that she hadn’t made fun of him for wetting the bed, and she had even offered to talk. Why was this family being so nice? Climbing back into bed he could shake the feeling of being impossibly alone, and needing comfort. She did say that he could come talk to her if he needed.

“Ezra why are you trusting them?! It’s a trick.” One side of his brain said

“Go to them. You need comfort, and they want to give it to you!” the other said

He looked back at the letter and made up his mind. Standing up he cocooned himself in his blanket, and softly walked to the door. He padded down the hallway, past the laundry room where he heard the washer going, and up the stairs to where he knew their bedroom was. He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. Was this a bad idea? His desire to have comfort and be held by someone who cared for him out wade the possibility of it being a trick, and him getting punished. He was already broken enough, he didn’t think they could break him anymore. He knocked softly on the door, and hung his head.

“You can come in Ezra.” He heard Esme say

He stood there for a moment debating whether or not he should make a run for it now, or go into the room. With a shaking hand he opened the door. Inside he spotted the bed that Esme and Carlisle laid on. The lamps on their bedside tables were on, and they were both reading their own books. They looked up at him with smiles.

“You can come in sweetie. You’re not in trouble.” Esme said in a sweet voice

He stepped forward a bit more. Holding onto the blanked for dear life.

“I’m sorry about the bed… And waking you up….. And coming here….” He whispered

“Don’t be Ezra. Trust me, if I didn’t think I could deal with a couple accidents, and late nights I never would have become a mom. As for coming to us, you should never feel as though you can’t talk to us. It doesn’t matter what hour of the night.”

He nodded, hanging his head not knowing what he actually came to say. Tears trailed down his face, and shudders wracked his body. Somebody had grabbed him and sat him on the bed, and was holding him. They whispered encouragements into his ear, and held him, rubbing his back in soothing circles. His crying turned into sobbing, and he curled into the warm body next to him. His hand gripped the bottem of the persons shirt like a baby would a mother. He felt warm, and safe, and loved, and tired. Sobs slowing, he felt his eye lids closing, and his body leaning more heavily and his mind at peace. As he drifted to sleep he thought

“This is what it’s like to be loved. “


End file.
